QUESTIONS MEMEMEMEMEMEEEE
Oct. 26th, 2013 07:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oneinfiveIt's been a while and I'm ALMOST at 8000 comments that totally counts as a milestone! Also I have been in the game for three months that's a milestone!! I GUESS
YOU KNOW HOW THESE WORK. I just play Nikolas for now!
YOU KNOW HOW THESE WORK. I just play Nikolas for now!
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Date: 2013-10-27 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 05:24 am (UTC)What a pain in the ass but Nikolas loves him ok. He isn't entirely comfortable around him mostly because Ed has a personality that's difficult for Nikolas to ever get ENTIRELY comfortable with! He is much more suited to Al-types actually than to Ed-types. But Ed is funny, and cute, and fascinating, and also obviously someone worthy of a TON OF RESPECT. I mean not only could he murder Nikolas as soon as look at him, he's intelligent and relatively well-adjusted and has his head on straight despite all the shit he's seen. But he's silly and reactive and flusterable enough that Nikolas doesn't generally feel . . . threatened or combative or intimidated like he might otherwise! They do a lot of trading of the upper hand in their conversations and he likes that; it's entertaining banter and Nikolas values it. It's not exactly restful, and Nikolas really intensely needs restful in his life from his friends, but things would get boring if all of them were soothing calming kind people, so he values that Ed isn't one of those while still being a generally awesome dude.
He had a great big silly crush on Ed just because Ed is so fucking cute and he was enjoying that! It's less so now because he hooked up with Winter and because Ed gave that his blessing (BY BLESSING I MEAN THREATS.) but he does still think he's adorable and kind of just wants to cuddle him a lot and make him blush and fluster and put his face in his hair. eddddwwwaaaardd
But it's not anything more serious than a hilarious crush--I mean he does consider him a real friend and genuinely cares about him, and Nikolas is the kind of guy who loves his friends, but any love he has here is platonic even if it's accompanied by a total willingness to make out with him if Nikolas weren't attached! And even though he looks up to Ed in a way, he totally recognizes and gets annoyed with all of Ed's flaws. It's kind of soothing to him actually because he's spent a long time in life with the only people he knew either being total shit to him or being held up on a high pedestal because they were ~perfect and untouchable~. He's still getting over that stage in his life so having a dude like Ed around where they bicker a lot and don't see eye to eye but they also care for one another and share things is good for him. (This is also why Ed reminds him a little of Frest, whom he had a similar relationship budding with.)
REVERSE ME!
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Date: 2013-10-27 08:48 pm (UTC)That said he's run into trouble in Court with people who don't have "strong enough" personalities, in the sense that he unintentionally runs over and tramples them. He doesn't enjoy doing that, but isn't really someone who's all that interested in (or necessarily capable of) moderating himself enough to avoid it :'). He finds Nikolas isn't one of those––Nikolas is intelligent, engaging, not afraid to step up and challenge him or take the (verbal) upper hand and so someone he can talk to! Someone agreeable or who could be dominated in a conversation too easily would be boring. He also in a sense admires him for being able to do that because he's gotten a definite sense of the hhhhuuuuge difference between his world and Nikolas's, and the fact that Nikolas at least believes that he's not on the same level as all the overpowered freaks wandering around but is still apparently up for baiting them anyway :|a (which he doesn't buy anyway cuz some of the most badass and terrifying people he knows were normal humans)
Sometimes he finds Nikolas super irritating and ridiculous, he seriously doubts his ability to cope at least in the short-term when stuff gets Real, and doesn't necessarily consider him the most reliable person. H O W E V E R Ed is Ed and most of his irritation and anger and whathaveyou is very surface-level, so even if he's never said it he does consider Nikolas a friend and is willing to extend his loyalty to him. He thinks he's trustworthy and caring even if he doesn't see it himself or puts himself down, and that he's perfectly capable of stepping up and being everything he wants to be, and in fact that's exactly what will happen as soon as he starts spending less time explaining his shortcomings :|a Ed takes people as they are and doesn't believe there is any reason they can't be strong and amazing and ~walk forward~ and overcome all of their challenges, and in fact expects them to do this. Including Nik, and he will personally boot Nik in the rear if he gets stuck :Db ~friendship~
Uhhhh what else... he likes that Nikolas treats him as an adult/equal, that is always a plus :|a he wishes Nikolas was less of an issue minefield if only cuz Ed is not a precision instrument he is blunt force trauma with two speeds: "sleep" and "5th gear full throttle" so he's... not so great at minefields like that... he's perfectly aware of this (and most of his own other flaws except maybe ones relating to more immature/childish things like his relationship with his father) but. O-oh well sorry Nik.
Do you have any future app plans anywhere?
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Date: 2013-10-28 01:29 am (UTC)(then a few days later I thought about how he should meet a Kyouko someday because they both grew up dirt poor and would think nothing of eating the Clubs food because holy shit tons of free food who cares if it's bad food and then I was like--WAIT--)
ANYWAY THOUGH. Right now that is my only concrete plan! I have a few much more vague plans for both Aather and Court; for one thing my lineup is all dudes right now and I miss playing LADIES and there are a few in particular I want to app places, especially Toujou Ruby, who has the benefit of being an extremely good fit for EITHER Aather or Court. I just need to decide which one I want to app her to. (And reread/catch up with her canon.)
After that uh. There are a couple 07-Ghost characters I want to try out, and I actually bought all of Death Note with the intention of apping Misa to Aather someday but idk if that'll happen, I miss playing from Negima!, and so on! I ALSO NEED TO READ PANDORA HEARTS APPARENTLY?!
So the answer is only one concrete plan but a lot of vague possibilities I guess!
UM LET'S SEE. TELL ME WHAT YOU LOOK FORWARD TO DOING WITH KAGURA.
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Date: 2013-10-28 01:41 am (UTC)OH THIS AND THAT she's very silly and... well also overreactive whups that's two in court. But in a different sense, she doesn't have Ed's temper she's just v. high-energy. I'd love to play around with her vore!monster because it's freakin' terrifying 8'D terrorize the massessssss and I'd love her to get a stupid crush like she did in Sabra because she's so fail at romance. She also just gets quirky ideas in her head like LET'S MAKE A HAUNTED HOUSE USING REAL GHOSTS and I WILL BE YOUR LOVE ALLY WE WILL SOLVE YOUR LOVE LIFE PROBLEMS BY REENACTING A CHEESY SOAP OPERA PLOT and I'd like to get her into that.
Basically she's meant to be pretty laid back and I'll throw her around wherever seems fun I think :|a
DO YOU HAVE ANY MASTER/SERVANT PLANS and also gimme a general sotu for Nik I don't think I've seen that on this meme yet :|a
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Date: 2013-10-28 02:12 am (UTC)Overall he's doing pretty well, especially since he's so fucking happy to be hooked up with Winter now huhuhu. And actually being with Winter has worked out better than he was worried--the whole reason they DIDN'T hook up on like the second day is because Nikolas was really worried that it would loop around into being unhealthy for them both because of Winter's circumstances and how much trouble they were having communicating and relating to one another. But they got over some of that and finally spilled at each other and making it official actually helped a lot rather than hindering that! So most of the weight of his own problems has been lifted off of Nikolas.
NOW HE HAS EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH. The thing about Nikolas though is that that's not necessarily bad for him; he thrives under pressure and when he has responsibility and things to do, people to take care of. When he starts to crack and sink into depression and self-harm and stuff is when he's left to be lonely with nothing to do but dwell on his own problems and no one to reach out to for help with them. When he's put in that position he slides into really awful behavior patterns! But right now he's away from his shitty family, with a wide support network, dating his FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD, and that's a good place for him to turn outward and begin to focus on you know, I really don't like how shit is going down here in Court, I hate people getting hurt, maybe I can do a thing about this and approach that rationally. (He wants better conditions in general and to learn more about technology and his current plan is to make his way up to King in a laid-back, slow sort of way, with Winter, and then to stay there and turn all of his focus onto improving conditions for the lower classes.)
As for master/servant plans, he and Winter have discussed it, and he's going to take Winter as a servant when they're both more settled in their relationship! His real ultimate desire is to somehow get Gil and Hatter rolled into that too, all under him, and he'd be open to other people if he and Winter both agreed and were close to them--but as long as he has Winter he's happy.
I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ED'S NAKAMA THREADS KICKING HIM IN THE FACE ABOUT MIRROR.
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Date: 2013-10-28 02:52 am (UTC)yes nikolas shoot for the top and protect those beneath you that's something humans can do!!
UHHMM he talked about it with Al and Ling basically, and with Al he just felt really really guilty like fuck I'm upsetting my little brotherrrrr I'm acting like such a selfish jerrrrrrk though at the same time he couldn't let go of the whole keep Al the fuck away from her thing even if it WAS selfish because. Just because :( like it's still amazing to him that Al is back to being Al \o/ that's still new to him and he has no idea how he(?) did it and Mirror's threat was very specifically "I will stick him back in an artificial body" so NOPE.GIF. So that conversation landed on the compromise of okay Al will stay away but Ed has to go find backup elsewhere.
Ling was more just this constant pressure/progression of WHAT HAPPENED OKAY WE'RE HEALING YOU AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS and while they didn't specifically talk about how he'd been dealing with Mirror and it's not like he got scolded for the approach he'd taken thus far, it was more like... just the very straightforward matter-of-fact way it was handled like there wasn't even a question of what was going to happen, obviously Ling was gonna pitch in :|a
Just a very firm real reminder that he's got awesome friends that've got his back and being ridiculous about the whole thing was completely unnecessary \o/
and then they were like IT'S KIND OF LIKE OLD TIMES let's go get slaughtered by a quasi-immortal villain.
What's your favourite objective for Nikolas and why :|a
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Date: 2013-10-31 04:27 am (UTC)ED WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM I saw it broke
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Date: 2013-10-31 04:47 am (UTC)So now he'll have to blow all of his money getting a new steampunk arm. But it's ok cuz I actually made "breaking automail" a high-paying objective so it's sort of self-funding in terms of replacements... it was the northern automail based on his canon point but it'll probably be replaced with something a lot more basic (and heavier) tho.
Also he'll probably stick to the dorms until it's replaced because running into crazy gods and goddess with one arm sounds unsafe :|a
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Date: 2013-10-27 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 05:49 am (UTC)No Nikolas likes Hatter a lot, and he does care for him, which is like half of why he's annoyed with him right now. Rather he has a lot of worry which is spilling out as annoyance because he's not sure how to express it. The whole situation with March is upsetting to Nikolas on SO MANY LEVELS because it's just another straw on the camel's back of how messed up Hatter is. Nikolas doesn't really deal very well with people he likes being intensely screwed up! He has been intensely screwed up himself and it was fucking awful and he hurt a lot of people during that time in his life. But he was still not even half as fucked up as Hatter. So all he can do is look at that and worry because jfc how awful must that be for him, and how awful is it going to be for everyone else? Being worried March will hurt him is really only a slice of the WORRY PIE he has going on here; he's worried March will hurt Hatter, March will hurt Gil or Winter, HATTER will hurt Gil or Winter, that Hatter's too screwed up to be a healthy relationship for Gil, that Hatter will end up alone and even worse off BECAUSE he's hurt the others, ETC. . . . ETC. . . . ETC. (Worry for himself doesn't really factor into this, though he is mildly afraid of being targeted by March someday, under all that.)
So he doesn't really know how to express that other than OH YOU FUCKING IDIOT even though he's been in some shit himself and knows it's really not as easy as just going, oh, right Nikolas, you're right, I won't talk to March anymore! Just, from the outside it feels like it should be. sssigh
But like. ALL OF THAT ASIDE. He likes Hatter! He didn't really expect to, but then Hatter was both like him and not like him and it ended up working out pretty well for them and he enjoys Hatter's company. He also enjoyed having sex with him that time so. Yes. Right now he's caught up in fretting over this whole situation, but he still considers Hatter a friend and cares for him deeply, and more than anything he wants to see Hatter come out of this intact both physically and mentally. And socially too. He's not going to let himself be pushed away by SKINNING! (though wow he's refusing to let himself think about that much)
REVERSE ME
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Date: 2013-10-27 02:10 am (UTC)That's totally a question
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Date: 2013-10-27 07:42 am (UTC)Damuron ♥ it's funny because when they first met Damuron was pretty uncomfortable for Nikolas . . . he was too similar, but in a more beaten-down and less crazy-broken way. (Nikolas was a lot more in his crazy-broken mode for the first couple days of Court sob.) And Nikolas wasn't really comfortable dealing with that, because he both wanted to help and kind of wanted to tear him down. So he kinda stayed away from him after they first met, and then by the time they started chatting again, he'd calmed down some from where he was and started to get healthier in his dealing with things! So he was more able to look at Damuron and go "no, okay, I would really rather support him, he seems like a guy who deserves that." He was actually pretty afraid of rejection at first, because if he could recognize himself in Damuron, OBVIOUSLY Damuron could also recognize himself in Nikolas, and that might turn him off ever talking to him. Nikolas honestly couldn't blame anyone for never wanting to talk to him.
Anyway, he wasn't attracted to Damuron at first, because Damuron wasn't his type physically (I say wasn't because he's gotten WAY more open to manly men in Court like whoa dog) and didn't seem to be his type emotionally either . . . but the more they talked, the more he started edging into that role. SURPRISINGLY CUTE FOR A MANLY DUDE, flusterable and good-hearted and laid-back so that he wasn't stressful to be around or talk to! Even at their drunken bickering worst Damuron was pretty easy to talk to. And sexual attraction happened that time too and then yes. Damuron ♥
HE IS STILL TOTALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM and honestly other than Gil, Damuron was the person he was most looking forward to sleeping with again in Court other than Winter; he doesn't have regrets per se, because Winter is Winter and monogamy really isn't so bad, but if it ever worked out that he had the opportunity again, he would definitely go for it with Damuron. IT WAS EXCELLENT SEX from Nikolas's point of view. Shut up you're not disappointing and I don't have low standards!! But more importantly, he thinks of Damuron as a friend and he really hopes Damuron sees him the same way and they can bro around some. Nikolas needs people to bro around with because his life has been sorely lacking in that, and Damuron is really high on the list of people he feels very comfortable doing that around. He will probably ramp up his friendly annoyingness a bit and he will be no less clingy or touchy-feely just because they can't actually have sex anymore. huhu
do meeeeeeeeeee
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Date: 2013-10-27 09:24 pm (UTC)Damuron found Nikolas a lot more abrasive the first time they talked, and a lot more... aggressively self-interested and dismissive of things other than drinking and sex. Like I think I have said before somewhere he really reminded Damuron of himself and his other noble friends he had before he joined the Canary brigade, which was both familiar and very uncomfortable since he dropped all of those friends completely the moment he fell in with Canary. And Damuron still wasn't really sure where he stood on things - was he going to completely fall back into those old habits and just drink and sleep with women? He kind of wanted to but at the same time he kind of hated himself for it after having tried for better things. Etc.
Of course then stuff happened like Damuron getting involved with Roz and Winter showing up, and they both got... somewhat better. And so it was easier and less uncomfortable. And then Nikolas sat with him while he was drunk and it was actually very easy to talk to him because clearly he understood. And then drunken sex which I talked about before.
THE DATE FOR FURTHER SEX was kind of a big thing because he did genuinely plan to take a little more time to reflect on his sexuality and stuff, but then obviously when talking to Nikolas he got kind of defensive about not having done anything himself and about needing time to think about it (HE'S HAD SEX. HE'S USED TO MAKING PEOPLE (WOMEN) FEEL GOOD. HE'S USED TO BEING THE INSTIGATOR. SO IT WAS SUPER WEIRD.) So he flirted to prove he could, only then obviously Nikolas wasn't going to back down, so he just ended up... taking it further... and it was actually pretty hot so. He agreed to some time later! But he didn't really feel as weird agreeing to it immediately as he could have, because he 100% believed that at any point if it turned out he was not into it Nikolas would stop and not push with no hard feelings. So in that sense it was safe. This is also why he didn't feel too bad asking for a rain check. :'D
AND IT TURNS OUT HE WAS PRETTY INTO IT OBVIOUSLY. Sex with Nikolas is also new for him in the way where Damuron is not used to having sex with friends. Like he said IC, it is surprisingly comfortable being with Nikolas now! He's still not as into sex with guys as he is sex with women, and the feelings there are definitely not as intense as feelings with say Roz, but it's very easy to be with him and just mess around and it's very enjoyable and hot. WEIRD. But nice.
He is genuinely happy for Nikolas and Winter though. Like I have also said, Damuron is actually pretty monogamously oriented and gets jealous easily, and he felt pretty bad for Winter being jealous of him. He really kind of expected them to get to get together at some point and was only a little surprised that they actually went all the way to declaring monogamy given that it's Court. IN THE NORMAL COURSE OF THINGS he would also be secretly kind of jealous of them (just being happy in a relationship together not of either one of them specifically) except that literally while they were getting together he was getting beaten into submission and catharsis by Roz and then having a threesome with Pitch, so while he is still a little ??? over what is actually going on with his own sex life he doesn't feel like he has anything to complain about. So. JUST GENUINELY HAPPY FOR THEM. He would certainly have had sex with Nikolas again if it came up but it doesn't bother him that it's not happening either. Especially since Winter seems so much happier.
HOW IS YOUR MONOGAMY GOING
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Date: 2013-10-28 01:57 am (UTC)He is still going to flirt a lot and be very touchy and drapey because that's just how he is and Winter doesn't really care about that anyway! It was just the sleeping with like four dudes in one day that was . . . becoming a problem. :'D And he really feels no urge to do that anyway if he has Winter, and as a matter of fact his urge to do it even WITHOUT Winter was already starting to level off, especially the urge to take on new sexual partners rather than just finding the ones he already had an attachment to and hitting them up for sex.
But yes he's so far very okay with this which is kind of funny to say when he's in a threeway cuddling thread right now with some tension going on but that's a special circumstance. Vvvvery likely both Winter and Nikolas are going to open up a bit in time and become all right with bringing people home to one another for threesomes/folding them into their relationship in different capacities but that all remains to be seen how it goes! even we don't know exactly
Would Damuron have a threesome with them. (this is your question you get a better one next time I promise)
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Date: 2013-10-28 04:06 am (UTC)Does Nikolas's have anything new in the way of ~Court goals~ now?
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Date: 2013-11-03 12:13 am (UTC)He doesn't have anything concrete right now because he's still too distracted with his personal life (not in bad ways . . . ) and because it's probably going to be harder for him to focus on overarching goals until he gets up to aboooout Rook level. OUT OF CLUBS. But he has an awareness that he wants to make Court a better and safer place for people. It would be really nice if people didn't have to worry QUITE so much about going outside for a walk and getting gutted, or getting blackmailed into shit, or! All the other awful stuff that happens! And it would be nice if Clubs were a little less shitty for the lower ranks, especially since there are so many of them. Like Pawns could really use some better information and better food and maybe some better entertainment!
BASICALLY IT WOULD BE NICE IF COURT COULD LEVEL UP INTO SOMETHING LIKE A REAL PLACE SOMEDAY because right now Nikolas doesn't really consider it one; it's haphazard and unorganized and fraught with danger and it's a shitty parody of a society. He doesn't actually want a position of power in it, he just wants to help out a little if he can, however he can.
His biggest concern right now is definitely the safety aspect of things because BOY HOWDY do his friends ever keep getting maimed or otherwise hurt by dickwads who just roam free doing whatever they like!! NOT COOL.
WHAT KIND OF OBJECTIVES IS ERIKA GOING TO HAVE?
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Date: 2013-10-27 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 08:57 pm (UTC)Nikolas still doesn't really get why Sasuke even likes him--it doesn't weigh on him heavily or anything, or interfere with their friendship, but he kind of just. DOESN'T GET IT. WHY WOULD THIS GUY BE INTERESTED IN ME? Especially since the truth post confirmed it wasn't just because of sex, which Nikolas had been a little worried about. (That's not exclusive to Sasuke either; he has a slight fear with everyone he's slept with that they're only interested in being his friend as long as he's fucking them, at least until they explicitly tell him otherwise.) But Sasuke confirmed for him that his company was important and valuable and that's still an extremely new feeling for Nikolas, the whole. Being a good friend. To anyone!
He isn't quite sure what he's doing right but he's doing something and he wants to keep doing it, because the reason why he's gotten so much better relatively quickly in Court is because he went from having next to nothing as a support network at home (he had only Winter, which was awkward and complicated, and Frest and Amalia, who were still only just beginning to tolerate him at his canon point) to having a relatively wide one here. And when he first came here he didn't super deserve how patient and nice people were with him, so now that his head has cleared some and he's moving on to being Sane Nikolas, he wants to deserve it now. Sasuke was a huge part of that because he took care of Nikolas early on in a lot of different ways even when he saw Nikolas behaving badly and not being super worthy of respect! And that sealed it, and now Nikolas wants to repay that by being whatever Sasuke needs in a friend, especially since he knows Sasuke doesn't make those easily. It's not that he feels obligated--he does feel indebted but he's well aware Sasuke wouldn't agree so he doesn't push that--it's more just that this is the kind of person he wants to be, and because Sasuke was a big part of helping him over his first hurdles and into wanting to be that kind of person, he especially wants to be it for him.
REVERSE ME NOW TOO (this is how my questions memes always go, I always just want a reverse for the first round, sigh)
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Date: 2013-10-27 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 09:19 pm (UTC)Damarhis is interesting because he's a guy with the potential to either be really comfortable and a good friend to Nikolas, or to completely stomp all over all of his bad pings and turn Nikolas into a sharp petty asshole around him. It all depends on how things shake out! Nikolas himself is completely unsure as of right now how he feels. Damarhis is very familiar to him, which isn't necessarily a good thing, but also isn't necessarily a bad thing; see above for how Nikolas and Damuron started out kind of similar but now Damuron is one of his favorite people. On the other hand, if Damarhis is legit too much like some of the dudes Nikolas knew back home (his relatives in particular), he has the potential to flip into being his loud dramatic insincere complete jerk version around him.
Right now in their thread he is deliberately pushing and prodding from certain angles to see what falls out so that he has a better idea of what to expect; for example, he was very deliberate in mentioning that he himself is a SLUTTY SLUT SLUT right after Damarhis mentioned that he has standards and doesn't fall into bed with people easily, because he wanted to see if he got any scorn or derision in return for it. Nikolas has a tendency to try and force people away by presenting himself in a bad light and then only accepting them if they refuse to let themselves be forced away. (Mostly because he's generally convinced he's going to hurt them anyway, so may as well show them that up front and let THEM make the choice whether to pursue despite that.) He's not being super serious about it with Damarhis yet because it's such a new relationship, but throwing out there "oh yes I sure do sleep around a lot, with everyone, ha ha!" is part of that, because if he's going to be judged for it he wants to know that now so he knows to avoid.
He relaxed though when Damarhis incidentally made him think about Frest and Gilbert and he had a moment of completely unrelated dere so he ended up shifting into something a little more positively confident anyway. whups
okay your turn
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Date: 2013-10-29 10:05 pm (UTC)On the sex front, Damarhis won't be shocked by promiscuity, or bisexuality, or any of the usual tripping points for that sort of thing - but let on that this involves actual affection or respect for commoner lovers and he'll find it an appalling breach of good taste.
On the whole, he's wary enough to still be sounding him out, but Damarhis is instinctively and viciously loyal to people who act like they like or respect him. So it looks promising, anyway.
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Date: 2013-10-27 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 09:52 pm (UTC)Nikolas is really kind of confused about Rozaline, like, she is really hard for him to get a read on! He's not used to that. She wavers between being really supportive and competent and strong and then turning into a TRAVESTY who is a little bit worrisome wow?!!? and he's not sure how to deal. He likes her, because she's never given him reason not to and she HAS been good and supportive of him, and he doesn't have enough information about the kidney incident honestly to judge either way. It sure sounded like it was consensual?! BUT WHAT HOW ALSO DOES THAT REALLY MAKE IT OKAY ERM
The thing is he's like that about some less hardcore stuff that IS completely consensual too so he refuses to really make a judgement call about it; he had the same reaction to finding out what Roz and Damuron do in bed together. On one hand it's totally okay because it IS consensual and he assumes they're safe and both enjoying it and all, and also Damuron was pretty clear that Rozaline don't need no kink-shaming in her life because she does enough of it to herself! So he's not going to side-eye her for it or anything. On the other hand he Does Not Get It because he's squeamish and pain-averse and it horrifies him to think of his friends being hurt, and he has a protective instinct and if you ever hurt Damuron for real or something girl you are gonna pay. I mean unless he wants it. which he does. wow what do I do with that
His urge to sleep with Rozaline plummeted after hearing all of that though, mostly for her sake; Nikolas fully believes he would be a completely unsatisfying sexual experience for her because he would not put up with any s&m type stuff. He's not entirely inexperienced with it himself! He's totally been tied up and smacked around a little bit in his life. But he's not really into it and if someone is hardcore enough into it to be tying people to the ceiling by their arms and hitting them PROBABLY THEY ARE NOT GOING TO GET MUCH OUT OF SEX WITH HIM LOL. (or so he believes. Damuron tried to tell him otherwise but he doesn't quite buy it.)
Still you go on and do your sexy kinky thing!! Actually Nikolas hates the idea of people not being comfortable with their own kinks, so he'd be very supportive if they ever talked about it. Just he also wants nothing to do with it personally and also don't hurt my friend, PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIS KIDNEY!
A lot of that had to do with whippin's but the thing is it kind of applies across the board to everything about her! She seems to be a good person who really is nowhere near coming into her own yet, and he wants that for her because she's nice and helpful and shouldn't think the worst of herself. It's okay to fuck up and to make mistakes, okay! please be careful about mistakes regarding organs
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Date: 2013-10-27 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-27 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-28 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-28 04:22 pm (UTC)So basically Gilbert is crazily attached to Nikolas now. So attached. Sooooo latched on
The important thing here is that it's Gilbert Nightray and that means a lot of things
1: he will TAKE A MORTAL BLOW FOR YOU (AND EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT) IN BATTLE!! Really this is a given and he's glad that Nikolas didn't argue with him over the button - to him this is a non issue! He's immortal and incredibly powerful and a trained assassin, things are dangerous here, he can make Nikolas safer. IT IS JUST HOW HE FUNCTIONS. HE IS A GUARD DOG. He was ALREADY itching to extend the offer to Winter well before he and Winter started to actually succeed at Not Being Awful At Each Other - basically immediately, because Winter is Nikolas' - so he's really itching about it now. It's just logical. You're noncombatants and he can kill most things, just say the word and it's dead!!! (There is a subliminal nerve running through him over his ability to manage, and whether they actually CARE or WANT him to be their guard dog or not is irrelevant because it's still so core to his being that if he thinks he can't be one he stresses out. I'M A GUARD DOG I'M NOT GOING TO STOP BEING ONE, IT'S DISTRESSING IF I THINK I WOULDN'T BE AN EFFECTIVE ONE? but even with all his losses he's pretty confident that they were all incidental (he isn't necessarily wrong poor thing) but RIGHT NOW after the "nightmare" it's kinda upsetting. privately.)
2: it doesn't matter how low his actual self esteem is, if his position with Nikolas as he perceives it is ever threatened, he will wig the fuck out. Like, burning, burning jealousy. It is possible Winter and to some extension Hatter (because Nikolas slid that in early) are the only exceptions to this despite knowing how much Nikolas was sleeping around - sleeping around is one thing, but BUDDY BUDDY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE HE'S SLEPT WITH WILL BE MET WITH LIME GREEN JELLY
The first serious long conversation he had with Winter he offered straight up to cut himself away from Nikolas because he refused to be any kind of blockade to Nikolas' happiness! He was able to do this fforrr a couple of reasons - he wasn't quite irreversibly possessive yet, but Nikolas WAS incredibly dear to him and the idea of himself causing that level of problem was just unthinkable so obviously it couldn't be allowed to happen. Also he's crazy. Winter then POLAR REVERSED IT by stressing he was in love with SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY!!!! and slamming in just how unrequited Nikolas' feelings were. So Gil reversed 8I;... he still wanted Nikolas and Winter's happiness but suddenly he was much more slanted towards his own role in supporting and caring for Nikolas and I think that whole talk of Nikolas FULL OF LOVEDISTRESS and Gil giving the advice of I THINK ACTUALLY YOU TWO ARE BAD FOR EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW... is when he irreversibly latched on. And not in a, I WILL FILL THAT VOID!! way. (Though voids were filled, HA HA) But specifically because there was very obviously a place for him at Nikolas' side right then, as his friend who could support him and comfort him, and offer a level of approachability that someone that is on a pedestal, like Winter is, can't offer. He was specifically giving something that Winter couldn't, and he was needed, sooo the option of ejecting himself evaporated...
UNTIL... it reversed AGAIN, and Winter and Nikolas cracked early and hooked up. At first Gil STRAIGHT UP GRILLED WINTER because UH YOU JUST STRESSED HOW MUCH YOU LOVED SOMEONE ELSE THOUGH YOU BETTER LOVE NIKOLAS DON'T PLAY WITH HIS HEART. That conversation could have made or broken his and Winter's relationship because of that. And it was funny because when we were chatting about it before it happened the big question was WOULD WINTER CALL CLAIM, OR WOULD HE ALREADY BE SETTING UP TO EJECT HIMSELF, and then Gilbert was the one to offer to leave ='D FOR. THE SAME REASONS AS BEFORE.
But this time it would have actually been painful, and he probably wouldn't have noticed for like a month and wouldn't understand WHY for forever. Had Winter been like OK YOU GUYS AREN'T SLEEPING TOGETHER ANYMORE BC HE'S MINE NOW Gil woulda been like OK AWESOME, AND ALSO THAT'S OBVIOUS! and then proceeded to not even remotely understand why that hurt. The concept of wanting and missing the direct, healthy intimacy that comes with the sex in his and Nikolas' relationship would be entirely too much for him to grasp. Because if anyone is good at putting things in untouchable categories it's Gilbert. (Surely this is just Oz-related loneliness) Another thing is, it wouldn't necessarily be the LACK OF THAT INTIMACY that hurt but also just... the starkness of fact at a role he served, a position he had, being entirely, gladly erased. By Winter, Nikolas' Oz, so that would ordinarily not hurt at all because Gil understands!!-- and in that conversation with Winter he was ENTIRELY GENUINE in being happy for Nikolas, once he believed Winter actually loved him anyway. But the one-two-three of I DON'T LOVE HIM -> [conversation with Nikolas being the saddest creature] -> NO ACTUALLY I DO LOVE HIM, made his own position feel tumultuous and abruptly in question, enough so that if Winter had laid claim, it would have hurt... subconsciously, and he wouldn't have noticed until a month later, but it would have hurt.
In fact I think the kind of. Unspoken agreement/feeling between Gil and Nikolas, when Gil broke the news that they still had permission, was basically "OK but Winter is stupid about how important he is to you, so we should probably just actually not?? Let's not push that!"
OF COURSE NOW THIS THREAD IS HAPPENING AND LMFAO bzzt zzzzzzzzzt
This is kind of rambly so let's reel it back in and just. idk. bulletpoint.
- Nikolas is definitely, actively helping Gil deal with his entire life in Court just by being his friend, let alone by being Good To Have Sex With. Gil is just better DAY TO DAY in EVERYDAY WORRIES AND CONVERSATIONS because Nikolas is his friend.
- they ARE friends, and however ABSOLUTELY HAIRBREATHING THIS IS AT THIS POINT, it is still nowhere near the type of obsessed dependent relationship he has with Oz, or the tumultuous deep-history mess he is with Hatter. Nikolas is his precious friend that they made entirely of their own accord, got closer through sheer time and conversation and chemistry. He can ACTUALLY RELAX! and have confidence and be happily giving and needy. Nikolas is not on a pedestal, he doesn't feel the usual fear or self-consciousness with him.
- Nikolas sure is getting a display of that self-consciousness NOW, and it's entirely because of Winter, and also threesome. WAIT, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS ONE THING BUT WINTER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A USED UP PIECE OF GROSS DARKNESS I AM AND WINTER IS YOUR PERFECT THING WHAT IF I MESS WITH THAT? WOULD NIKOLAS FORGIVE THAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY POSITION IS WITH WINTER!1 YOU GUYS ARE IN LOVE AND I AM SEPARATE FROM THAT I DON'T GO HERE
- w-w-what if i go here. but. but i don't though. The Gil wire and the Winter wire weren't supposed to crossss
- (as a side note being with nikolas and winter like this right after That Nightmare made him miss oz and alice (and Vincent) terribly. not because they are comparable, they are in fact completely different in every way. there is no part of this situation that is similar to that situation. Nikolas and Winter just managed to give him some real comfort after a horrible crisis! So it is just the sheer fact that he is being given a "place to be" which is a VERY POSITIVE, COMFORTING THING, that is making him almost cry with how badly it hurts that his missing cast is not here and he left them aannnd all the other horrible things that nightmare stressed. Literally almost made him cry because you are doing things right and made him too emotionally vulnerable. THIS IS A NICE THING -> AAAAAAAAAAH )
- probably what is keeping Gil comfortably buffeted from any realizations on just how intense "MAN IT SURE IS GREAT TO HAVE A FRIEND I LOVE [BREATHES NIKOLAS' SCENT]" has gotten is that it ISN'T Oz. Like, it is genuinely difficult to conceive love happening in a non-Oz way. PROTECTED BY OZ AND WINTER BARRIER
- aregilandnikolasinloveyet.com
- this threesome might make him aware of the website. I'm not sure how that will go but we'll see
REVERSE
no subject
Date: 2013-10-30 06:51 pm (UTC)Nikolas sure does know about the website. the current status of the website is like. " . . . oh"
but he's known about it since way before it was anything close to that! THE WEBSITE EXISTS BECAUSE HE HAD TO KEEP CHECKING IT. I don't know if you saw his thread with Kaoru in the truth post but Kaoru was like "oh you've fallen for him quickly" and Nikolas was like "I have not!" and then immediately was like "oh it actually let me say that okay good." Because he wasn't sure. He's known for quite a while that having sex with Gil is really different from having sex with anyone else--actually he figured that out at the party iirc when he was feeling not really in the mood for sex and then they went off and he ended up having sex with him, because as he mentioned at the time, "not in the mood" isn't the same as "not in the mood for Gilbert" AND THAT IS NOT REALLY A DISTINCTION NIKOLAS IS USED TO MAKING IN HIS LIFE.
The thing is that Nikolas actually isn't a guy who GETS intense during sex except with Winter. He definitely didn't start out intense with Gil either really. And in fact he's been put off of sex in Court that was TOO INTENSE for him before and has deliberately deflected it or reined it in some. But with Gil he started getting super spiralingly addictively into it and it wasn't just like, because it feels good, it was because he intensely cares about him as a person and loves him as a friend! I think I've talked about Nikolas as a friend before and he's definitely ICly warned Gil about himself as a friend before; he's lonely and loves people and contact, he has an addictive personality, he likes being liked and he likes pleasing people and he also relies on outside support to literally keep him sane. He has A LOT OF THAT here in Court which is why he's doing so well. And of that support Gil is the person (not counting Winter) he feels the most comfortable with and likes the most and NEEDS the most. Everyone else has a caveat of some sort! But Gil is like. He's consistent and supportive and dedicated and easy to talk to, he's relaxing and calming to be around (Nikolas is extremely drawn to people who are calming influences when his head is full of fuck), there's no feeling of obligation or debt between them. Nikolas TRUSTS Gil COMPLETELY which is not easy to pull off with him! He absolutely believes that if he ever had a minor breakdown or something and showed up drunk and insulting and a total wreck then Gil would take care of him and be concerned and not turn him away. Rather than judging him or breaking off anything they have or blowing up at him. And there are very few people in any world that Nikolas will let himself believe he has that kind of support from.
THE POINT BEING that for all kinds of reasons Nikolas utterly adores Gil as a friend which for him is already enough to get him to clingy, protective, possessive levels with you. But then they also have this sort of. Mutual feedback loop when it comes to their relationship where they both kind of get off on clingy protective possessive and it led to them having a sex life that Nikolas knows damn well feels a lot like the sex life you have with someone you actually love. He has had the buffer of Winter and all so in a way at first it was kind of like. Almost an emotion play kink, because there was that separation of "Well, I definitely don't feel for him like I do for Winter (which is still true), I love Winter, I don't love him, bbbbut there's definitely something different and more between us and I don't want to stop because it feels good and it's totally safe because it's NOT LOVE HA!" Gil is in love with two other guys and I'm in love with one other guy and we all know it so that's cool sure let's just keep doing this thing we're doing that's getting more and more. Openly discussing how possessive we are and how attached we are and how important the other is RIGHT SURE . . .
He also spent a long time not being at all jealous of Hatter or Oz or anyone else but he finally slipped into being a little jealous which he noticed in himself and it was another nail in the coffin. He's well aware he's in a very different category than Oz or Hatter in the same way Gil's in a very different category from Winter! And he doesn't want or expect to ever be elevated to that status so it's hard to be jealous of it. And he doesn't actually know about Yuri. If he did he'd be jealous as fuck though and probably kinda p/a at Yuri if they ever met (they haven't). (He'd be even worse if he knew Yuri's propositioned Winter too l o l.) Anyway he realized first that he was jealous of any hypothetical casual sex partners, as he mentioned in the truth thread, and then finally after that he realized he actually is also a tiny bit jealous of Hatter and Oz. Not a lot and not enough that he'll p/a at Hatter but he has a sense now of "I wish he were mine (just as a friend though!!) and that won't ever happen because he is theirs and that's mostly okay but it's a little tiny bit not okay sometimes!"
Much like Gil though as long as he has his own space and his own role and no one else encroaches on it (the role of "best friend you also have intense feelingsy sex with") he's all right. The role of BEING OZ is super different and Nikolas doesn't want it, and he's dubious about Hatter's role and a little worried for Gil re: that so that he definitely doesn't want. Just his own. IT WOULD JUST BE A LITTLE NICER IF ALSO MINE MINE MINE MMMMINE
also Nikolas is a stupid shit and sometimes he'll be going about his day and something will remind him Gil exists and it makes him a little happier (see above with Damarhis lol) and he's finally noticed that he's a stupid shit. wow is he
He's not in mad obsessive love with him like he is with Winter and the feelings are different anyway! Which is why he didn't notice for so long that fluttery teenager crush + deep respectful friendship love = ???????? and he's still not quite sure where things stand. But that stuff plus the stuff right now in the threesome has tipped him off that Something. Some Thing! (which he assumes is not reciprocated lol.)
I'M PROBABLY MISSING STUFF . . .
no subject
Date: 2013-10-30 07:34 pm (UTC)I think you actually articulated that whole element a lot better than I did cuz that's definitely a part of Gil vs his feelings on Nikolas too, just like. HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF FALLING FOR NIKOLAS not just by Winter himself (and i think he was able to truth thread an answer like NO?? he would've been able to do that about Hatter too though ='D perceptions) but by Elliot etc.
It's very much mutual possessive needy feedback loop where gil is NOT OBLIVIOUS AT ALL to how much he wants it and in fact for him to BE ABLE to pursue it with Nikolas is. SUCH A THING. THAT IS HUGE. Nikolas is the best friend he never had and he's safe and he loves him and needs him and he's needed and loved it's so good and I STILL JUST WANT MOREMOREMORE AND THAT SEEMS TO BE WORKIN OUT JUST FINE
BUT IT ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE WHAT I FEEL FOR OZ (THAT IS TRUE)
SUCH FRIENDS way to be identical here guys
Though instead of the small "I wish he were mine" it's "I wish I was his" cuz that's how Gil rolls
this threesome thing after one of the more awful moments in gil's life (WHICH, REALLY, IS IMPRESSIVE, I JUST START LAUGHING EVERY TIME AJ ADDS A COMMENT) is so much neediness too. He's being entirely surrounded in BEING WANTED and it's SO GOOD it's sooo good. GOOD ENOUGH THAT IT'S ALLOWING HIM TO GO FOR IT!! And so there is this EMOTIONAL REACH OUT TO WINTER AND NIKOLAS where Winter is new and causing new comparison-born insight (BY BEING NEW offering something right now that nikolas can't, but that's another ramble. but it is noteworthy that gil is now in ANY SENSE slotting Nikolas as "a given" because that is how much he trusts Nikolas). It is abruptly starkly obvious how badly he wants and needs Nikolas and how much he trusts him and how he is apparently capable of making him feel better at the worst of times
PS fresh scars will become more prominent later, they are kind of not as stark now due his skin being kind of... fre..sh...
no subject
Date: 2013-11-19 03:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-19 05:16 am (UTC)ok let me see. NIKOLAS LOEV ELLIOT, he's like--he falls into the same category as Ed, sort of, where Nikolas can tell he's a really genuinely good and strong person and he has a hell of a lot of real respect for him, but at the same time he's flustery and easy to tease and kind of dumb about some things! So it's a good balance kind of thing. Like I said to Sanne, Nikolas really needs and is attracted to people who are soothing and calming to him, which Elliot isn't mmmmost of the time, but he also can't only be surrounded by Winter and Gil types. He'd start making his own trouble because too much calm and soothing and sweet and perfect is hard to maintain. So it's good for him to have friends that he bickers with and teases and takes shit from because it helps keep his energy up and on his toes and gives him something to do in a harmless way. (HOWEVER THIS IS WHY SOMETIMES HE JUST NEEDS ELLIOT TO S T O P and tries to calm him down if he's yelling, especially if he's genuinely concerned.)
He really does care for Elliot and he senses that he's someone who can be a help to him in unique ways--both being blunt and badgering him when he needs it and being soothing and calming him when he needs that. Nikolas likes being needed! He doesn't know if Elliot "needs" him (in his heart he wants him to, though) and he does know Elliot would never SAY he did even if it were true, but he at least feels like he's the kind of person Elliot needs around sometimes. And he likes spending time with him and trusts him, so fraaaaaaaans :3c
I was telling Terra earlier that Nikolas gets caught in a feedback loop of sorts sometimes where he's realized that touching Elliot makes him way easier to talk to because it calms him down (this is another thing he has in common with Ed, but even moreso). So it's increasingly hard for him to actually keep his hands off of him. He doesn't really crush on him per se and has never thought about it seriously (in fact Nikolas has no idea Elliot finds him even remotely attractive, and he also doesn't realize about the PDA objective, l o l) but there's a part of him way down in his lizard hindbrain that just wants to sit Elliot down and touch him all over because that's part of his interaction with him and he's so adorable ahhh! HEY RUBBING YOUR NECK SEEMS TO HELP I'LL JUST KEEP DOING THAT =D OK GOOD which makes Elliot one of only three people in Court that Nikolas would have some trouble holding back on if he ended up in some sort of forced contact/mistletoe/aphro/WHATEVER situation with them. (Obviously not including Winter or Gil. He wouldn't bother trying to hold back on them.)
also jerking off for the first time ever huhu o//w//o
Okay reverse me I forgot what else I was gonna say but you can just ask more that's how these memes work