oneinfive | QUESTIONS MEMEMEMEMEMEEEE

It's been a while and I'm ALMOST at 8000 comments that totally counts as a milestone! Also I have been in the game for three months that's a milestone!! I GUESS

YOU KNOW HOW THESE WORK. I just play Nikolas for now!

Threaded | Flat

From:

fullmettle

From:

coaldhearted

SLIDES ON IN HERE OPINIONS/FEELINGS ON HATTER GOGOGO

From:

loseheart

Meeeeeeeee

That's totally a question

From:

immaturelycursed

THOUGHTS ON FRIENDSHIP with Sasuke

From:

thornrose

hi.

From:

oshioki_yo

IM GOING TO BE LIKE ALL THOSE OTHER BUTTS AND JUST BE ALL "ME HI"

From:

likeawritingdesk

I'M GOING TO DO YOU FIRST WHAT NOWWWW!!

So basically Gilbert is crazily attached to Nikolas now. So attached. Sooooo latched on

The important thing here is that it's Gilbert Nightray and that means a lot of things

1: he will TAKE A MORTAL BLOW FOR YOU (AND EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT) IN BATTLE!! Really this is a given and he's glad that Nikolas didn't argue with him over the button - to him this is a non issue! He's immortal and incredibly powerful and a trained assassin, things are dangerous here, he can make Nikolas safer. IT IS JUST HOW HE FUNCTIONS. HE IS A GUARD DOG. He was ALREADY itching to extend the offer to Winter well before he and Winter started to actually succeed at Not Being Awful At Each Other - basically immediately, because Winter is Nikolas' - so he's really itching about it now. It's just logical. You're noncombatants and he can kill most things, just say the word and it's dead!!! (There is a subliminal nerve running through him over his ability to manage, and whether they actually CARE or WANT him to be their guard dog or not is irrelevant because it's still so core to his being that if he thinks he can't be one he stresses out. I'M A GUARD DOG I'M NOT GOING TO STOP BEING ONE, IT'S DISTRESSING IF I THINK I WOULDN'T BE AN EFFECTIVE ONE? but even with all his losses he's pretty confident that they were all incidental (he isn't necessarily wrong poor thing) but RIGHT NOW after the "nightmare" it's kinda upsetting. privately.)

2: it doesn't matter how low his actual self esteem is, if his position with Nikolas as he perceives it is ever threatened, he will wig the fuck out. Like, burning, burning jealousy. It is possible Winter and to some extension Hatter (because Nikolas slid that in early) are the only exceptions to this despite knowing how much Nikolas was sleeping around - sleeping around is one thing, but BUDDY BUDDY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE HE'S SLEPT WITH WILL BE MET WITH LIME GREEN JELLY

The first serious long conversation he had with Winter he offered straight up to cut himself away from Nikolas because he refused to be any kind of blockade to Nikolas' happiness! He was able to do this fforrr a couple of reasons - he wasn't quite irreversibly possessive yet, but Nikolas WAS incredibly dear to him and the idea of himself causing that level of problem was just unthinkable so obviously it couldn't be allowed to happen. Also he's crazy. Winter then POLAR REVERSED IT by stressing he was in love with SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY!!!! and slamming in just how unrequited Nikolas' feelings were. So Gil reversed 8I;... he still wanted Nikolas and Winter's happiness but suddenly he was much more slanted towards his own role in supporting and caring for Nikolas and I think that whole talk of Nikolas FULL OF LOVEDISTRESS and Gil giving the advice of I THINK ACTUALLY YOU TWO ARE BAD FOR EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW... is when he irreversibly latched on. And not in a, I WILL FILL THAT VOID!! way. (Though voids were filled, HA HA) But specifically because there was very obviously a place for him at Nikolas' side right then, as his friend who could support him and comfort him, and offer a level of approachability that someone that is on a pedestal, like Winter is, can't offer. He was specifically giving something that Winter couldn't, and he was needed, sooo the option of ejecting himself evaporated...

UNTIL... it reversed AGAIN, and Winter and Nikolas cracked early and hooked up. At first Gil STRAIGHT UP GRILLED WINTER because UH YOU JUST STRESSED HOW MUCH YOU LOVED SOMEONE ELSE THOUGH YOU BETTER LOVE NIKOLAS DON'T PLAY WITH HIS HEART. That conversation could have made or broken his and Winter's relationship because of that. And it was funny because when we were chatting about it before it happened the big question was WOULD WINTER CALL CLAIM, OR WOULD HE ALREADY BE SETTING UP TO EJECT HIMSELF, and then Gilbert was the one to offer to leave ='D FOR. THE SAME REASONS AS BEFORE.

But this time it would have actually been painful, and he probably wouldn't have noticed for like a month and wouldn't understand WHY for forever. Had Winter been like OK YOU GUYS AREN'T SLEEPING TOGETHER ANYMORE BC HE'S MINE NOW Gil woulda been like OK AWESOME, AND ALSO THAT'S OBVIOUS! and then proceeded to not even remotely understand why that hurt. The concept of wanting and missing the direct, healthy intimacy that comes with the sex in his and Nikolas' relationship would be entirely too much for him to grasp. Because if anyone is good at putting things in untouchable categories it's Gilbert. (Surely this is just Oz-related loneliness) Another thing is, it wouldn't necessarily be the LACK OF THAT INTIMACY that hurt but also just... the starkness of fact at a role he served, a position he had, being entirely, gladly erased. By Winter, Nikolas' Oz, so that would ordinarily not hurt at all because Gil understands!!-- and in that conversation with Winter he was ENTIRELY GENUINE in being happy for Nikolas, once he believed Winter actually loved him anyway. But the one-two-three of I DON'T LOVE HIM -> [conversation with Nikolas being the saddest creature] -> NO ACTUALLY I DO LOVE HIM, made his own position feel tumultuous and abruptly in question, enough so that if Winter had laid claim, it would have hurt... subconsciously, and he wouldn't have noticed until a month later, but it would have hurt.

In fact I think the kind of. Unspoken agreement/feeling between Gil and Nikolas, when Gil broke the news that they still had permission, was basically "OK but Winter is stupid about how important he is to you, so we should probably just actually not?? Let's not push that!"

OF COURSE NOW THIS THREAD IS HAPPENING AND LMFAO bzzt zzzzzzzzzt

This is kind of rambly so let's reel it back in and just. idk. bulletpoint.

- Nikolas is definitely, actively helping Gil deal with his entire life in Court just by being his friend, let alone by being Good To Have Sex With. Gil is just better DAY TO DAY in EVERYDAY WORRIES AND CONVERSATIONS because Nikolas is his friend.
- they ARE friends, and however ABSOLUTELY HAIRBREATHING THIS IS AT THIS POINT, it is still nowhere near the type of obsessed dependent relationship he has with Oz, or the tumultuous deep-history mess he is with Hatter. Nikolas is his precious friend that they made entirely of their own accord, got closer through sheer time and conversation and chemistry. He can ACTUALLY RELAX! and have confidence and be happily giving and needy. Nikolas is not on a pedestal, he doesn't feel the usual fear or self-consciousness with him.
- Nikolas sure is getting a display of that self-consciousness NOW, and it's entirely because of Winter, and also threesome. WAIT, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS ONE THING BUT WINTER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A USED UP PIECE OF GROSS DARKNESS I AM AND WINTER IS YOUR PERFECT THING WHAT IF I MESS WITH THAT? WOULD NIKOLAS FORGIVE THAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY POSITION IS WITH WINTER!1 YOU GUYS ARE IN LOVE AND I AM SEPARATE FROM THAT I DON'T GO HERE
- w-w-what if i go here. but. but i don't though. The Gil wire and the Winter wire weren't supposed to crossss
- (as a side note being with nikolas and winter like this right after That Nightmare made him miss oz and alice (and Vincent) terribly. not because they are comparable, they are in fact completely different in every way. there is no part of this situation that is similar to that situation. Nikolas and Winter just managed to give him some real comfort after a horrible crisis! So it is just the sheer fact that he is being given a "place to be" which is a VERY POSITIVE, COMFORTING THING, that is making him almost cry with how badly it hurts that his missing cast is not here and he left them aannnd all the other horrible things that nightmare stressed. Literally almost made him cry because you are doing things right and made him too emotionally vulnerable. THIS IS A NICE THING -> AAAAAAAAAAH )
- probably what is keeping Gil comfortably buffeted from any realizations on just how intense "MAN IT SURE IS GREAT TO HAVE A FRIEND I LOVE [BREATHES NIKOLAS' SCENT]" has gotten is that it ISN'T Oz. Like, it is genuinely difficult to conceive love happening in a non-Oz way. PROTECTED BY OZ AND WINTER BARRIER
- aregilandnikolasinloveyet.com
- this threesome might make him aware of the website. I'm not sure how that will go but we'll see

REVERSE