No Nikolas likes Hatter a lot, and he does care for him, which is like half of why he's annoyed with him right now. Rather he has a lot of worry which is spilling out as annoyance because he's not sure how to express it. The whole situation with March is upsetting to Nikolas on SO MANY LEVELS because it's just another straw on the camel's back of how messed up Hatter is. Nikolas doesn't really deal very well with people he likes being intensely screwed up! He has been intensely screwed up himself and it was fucking awful and he hurt a lot of people during that time in his life. But he was still not even half as fucked up as Hatter. So all he can do is look at that and worry because jfc how awful must that be for him, and how awful is it going to be for everyone else? Being worried March will hurt him is really only a slice of the WORRY PIE he has going on here; he's worried March will hurt Hatter, March will hurt Gil or Winter, HATTER will hurt Gil or Winter, that Hatter's too screwed up to be a healthy relationship for Gil, that Hatter will end up alone and even worse off BECAUSE he's hurt the others, ETC. . . . ETC. . . . ETC. (Worry for himself doesn't really factor into this, though he is mildly afraid of being targeted by March someday, under all that.)
So he doesn't really know how to express that other than OH YOU FUCKING IDIOT even though he's been in some shit himself and knows it's really not as easy as just going, oh, right Nikolas, you're right, I won't talk to March anymore! Just, from the outside it feels like it should be. sssigh
But like. ALL OF THAT ASIDE. He likes Hatter! He didn't really expect to, but then Hatter was both like him and not like him and it ended up working out pretty well for them and he enjoys Hatter's company. He also enjoyed having sex with him that time so. Yes. Right now he's caught up in fretting over this whole situation, but he still considers Hatter a friend and cares for him deeply, and more than anything he wants to see Hatter come out of this intact both physically and mentally. And socially too. He's not going to let himself be pushed away by SKINNING! (though wow he's refusing to let himself think about that much)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-10-27 05:49 am (UTC)No Nikolas likes Hatter a lot, and he does care for him, which is like half of why he's annoyed with him right now. Rather he has a lot of worry which is spilling out as annoyance because he's not sure how to express it. The whole situation with March is upsetting to Nikolas on SO MANY LEVELS because it's just another straw on the camel's back of how messed up Hatter is. Nikolas doesn't really deal very well with people he likes being intensely screwed up! He has been intensely screwed up himself and it was fucking awful and he hurt a lot of people during that time in his life. But he was still not even half as fucked up as Hatter. So all he can do is look at that and worry because jfc how awful must that be for him, and how awful is it going to be for everyone else? Being worried March will hurt him is really only a slice of the WORRY PIE he has going on here; he's worried March will hurt Hatter, March will hurt Gil or Winter, HATTER will hurt Gil or Winter, that Hatter's too screwed up to be a healthy relationship for Gil, that Hatter will end up alone and even worse off BECAUSE he's hurt the others, ETC. . . . ETC. . . . ETC. (Worry for himself doesn't really factor into this, though he is mildly afraid of being targeted by March someday, under all that.)
So he doesn't really know how to express that other than OH YOU FUCKING IDIOT even though he's been in some shit himself and knows it's really not as easy as just going, oh, right Nikolas, you're right, I won't talk to March anymore! Just, from the outside it feels like it should be. sssigh
But like. ALL OF THAT ASIDE. He likes Hatter! He didn't really expect to, but then Hatter was both like him and not like him and it ended up working out pretty well for them and he enjoys Hatter's company. He also enjoyed having sex with him that time so. Yes. Right now he's caught up in fretting over this whole situation, but he still considers Hatter a friend and cares for him deeply, and more than anything he wants to see Hatter come out of this intact both physically and mentally. And socially too. He's not going to let himself be pushed away by SKINNING! (though wow he's refusing to let himself think about that much)
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