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THEM FANCY LADS, CONT. (Nikolas/Winter)
[From here:
Well, here they are, on the world's most introverted date, the one that only the extravert between them realizes is a date.
Which is to say, that evening, when he'd normally be retiring to his rooms, Nikolas makes his way to Winter's little private study instead for all that reading Winter seems to think can be a social activity. Maybe he isn't wrong. It can at least be a comfortable one, between the two of them, at this point; that counts for a lot. It's been so very long since most things between them were comfortable. If sitting together in amicable silence, maybe even leaning on one another, can join that list, Nikolas is more than happy to make the first move in adding it.
He raps lightly and quickly on the door, as if worried he might be overheard. It's quite unlike his usual way of being.]
Well, here they are, on the world's most introverted date, the one that only the extravert between them realizes is a date.
Which is to say, that evening, when he'd normally be retiring to his rooms, Nikolas makes his way to Winter's little private study instead for all that reading Winter seems to think can be a social activity. Maybe he isn't wrong. It can at least be a comfortable one, between the two of them, at this point; that counts for a lot. It's been so very long since most things between them were comfortable. If sitting together in amicable silence, maybe even leaning on one another, can join that list, Nikolas is more than happy to make the first move in adding it.
He raps lightly and quickly on the door, as if worried he might be overheard. It's quite unlike his usual way of being.]
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[ It's just crossing over to his bed! Which in and of itself is a sort of nerve-wracking step. There's a difference in what they're doing now to what they've done before, even if they have been on his bed before, if only passingly. ]
I am not a completely innocent creature, no matter what you might think of me. I have a dislike of crowds, and a greater dislike of the ones you draw to yourself. I have been jealous of them my whole life; that would certainly only intensify if you agreed to this sort of relationship with me. That hardly is an appealing thing, is it? But I won't lie and pretend that doesn't exist, either.
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[If it's only that! He waves that away with a quirked little smile of relief, as he crosses to the bed. See, walking and talking.]
You needn't worry about any of those, Winter. This may not be terribly convincing coming from me, but if you put your faith in me I swear I will prove it: I cannot imagine ever needing to indulge in a single other soul than you, were you mine and free to indulge in.
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[ He sounds something like a line out of one of those bad romance novels that he's read so many of and will never admit to unless openly confronted. But even so (or maybe even a little because of that), Winter smiles. It's a small smile, a bit wobbly at the edges, but it catches and holds on his face even as they reach their destination. Maybe it's okay to believe he can have something nice? Surely it's all right. ]
But I will, and I will hope that you'll treat my heart gently from now on.
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[That little smile is just terrible. It's terrible in how much it makes Nikolas want to kiss it; his gaze lingers on it even as he talks, his own lips curling into a dopey, wanting little grin.]
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[ He says it like it's a surprise. How could it be, that people might accuse him of foolishness? But as good as he might be with his studies, he's at least aware that he's at least somewhat sheltered.
(He's much more than he realizes, but at least there's some self-awareness there.)
But the way Nikolas smiles distracts him in turn; he lights up further, nervous and eager. ]
But I do. I trust you, and as long as you give me reason to, I will continue to do so.
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[He begins to lean in, seized by a moment of reluctance, warring visibly with the current of desire he can't fight off. Can he trust himself? He isn't certain. But if not in this, in what? And he hardly wants to think he can never trust himself in anything again.]
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But when Nikolas hesitates, Winter cocks his head, reaching up to settle his hands lightly on Nikolas's shoulders. ]
I'll do what I must, if I must. But -- for tonight, at least, I'd much rather not assume the worst. Tomorrow, we can be more serious about it, but for tonight... I'd like it very much if we could both be happy.
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[His expression and tone both soften under Winter's gaze and touch like a fruit ripening under the sun. How can he not be? And how can he not lean in for the kiss, soft but hungry, his lips meeting Winter's in a slow motion crash of spreading warmth?]